Ever had a day where everything just hits you all at once? You keep pushing and pushing, but one day you get told one more thing and the weight is just too much? Yeah, me too. When that time comes, I tend do to what is commonly known as spiraling. For those of you who may not have heard of the term, it’s when your thoughts can take over your mind in a negative way which can lead to not the best actions. For me, spiraling is where I do everything that makes me feel “good” in the moment and in control of situations that I feel I have no control in. While that may not sound like anything too outrageous, what I do to achieve that control is not the healthiest. Let me lay out what a spiral may look like for me.
Food. A lot of it. Typically it involves me ordering tons of wings just for myself. Stuffing myself over capacity with anything that is comforting at that moment.
Shopping. I have to swipe my card MULTIPLE times on things I definitely don’t need. Even though I realize that I don’t need them, my brain is telling me I do because I have the ability to go out and shop which is a form of being “in control” (not really) and it’ll make me feel better in the end……*SPOILER ALERT* I do NOT feel better when I add up all the charges.
Staying in bed all day. Quite literally not moving. Staying in bed to the point where I actually end up feeling worse.
Those things in the moment make me feel on top of the world, but afterward, cause me even more stress and anxiety. I’ve been back in therapy consistently for almost a year now, and me and my therapist spent a lot of time on this topic. She encouraged me to “rewire” my spirals into something healthy to do, while still allowing myself to feel whatever emotions I have. If you also struggle with spiraling, here are some things I’ve implemented that have really worked for me.
Focus on the FACTS
A lot of spirals start from making assumptions. Assumptions will always get you mixed up, because they aren’t facts. Those assumptions are not set in stone. So, when I feel a spiral coming on, I sit down and either get my journal or open my notes app and write down the current facts of the situation. let me reiterate that: write out the FACTS about whatever the situation is, not what YOU have created as “facts”. Focus on what the current facts are and then, as more become available, you can add those in as you go. Focus on what is factual because 9 times out of ten, your assumptions are not as accurate as they may feel in the thick of it. Your emotions can make those assumptions feel more real than they are or possibly could ever be.
Focus on God’s Word
When these spirals happen, there’s a lot of assumptions and lies that we fill our head with. There are lies that the enemy knows to plant in our heads at such vulnerable times. Knowing this, prompts me to open up God’s word and remember what HE says about me. I’ll open up to some verses I have bookmarked or sometimes I’ll open up to a random verse and just see what God could open my eyes and heart up to. One thing about God, He is always speaking to us and speaking LIFE into us. The lies we hear when we are spiraling aren’t God’s word. He tells how beautifully and wonderfully we are made and that is the complete truth. I mean, we are made in HIS image and that is a testament to how much He loves us and how special we are. Listen closely to what God tells you in these moments and you will be lifted up even when you feel things are spiraling down.
Feel your feelings
After stating the facts of what’s going on, you still have your feelings. They don’t suddenly disappear. They’re there and they are valid. Allow yourself some time to sit with those different emotions and feel them. I like to turn to journaling them out. Sometimes I will just list them out, sometimes it’s detailed, and sometimes it’s a direct written prayer to God. There isn’t a right or wrong way to journal them out, but whatever way you do, make sure you address the emotions and give yourself that time to sit and understand what you feel.
Treat yourself to something minimal $$
Something that I’ve learned is that big, emotional purchases usually end up in regret. When you feel out of control, all you wanna do is swipe a card and spend some money to feel in control. I use these spirals as an excuse to load up on clothing I usually never end up wearing, new shoes, new perfume…you get it. I have realized that 10/10 times I regret these purchases in the end. They didn’t change anything about what’s going on, but have me go over budget. Then going over budget makes me upset and starts the cycle all over again. Let me say this: It is ok to treat yourself, but to something minimal. Treat yourself to something that makes you happy, but won’t end up in buyer’s remorse afterward. For some that can be a movie ticket, a comfort meal, a milkshake, etc,. For me, I try to opt for the large cup of coffee at my favorite coffee shop, or a meal from my favorite wing spot…but I’ll go for my regular meal and maybe upgrade the fries so I won’t go and not binge on let’s say…50 wings. Yeah, that’s happened more times than I’d like to admit. Treat yourself to something that will make you happy, but be smart about it.
Take Care of YOU
It is ok to need a day to yourself. During these moments, figure out what it is that you really need. If that means lounging and catching up on your shows, then do it. If that means going for a walk, do it. If that means a nice bubble bath with candles and a good book, DO IT! This looks different for all of us, but it is a necessity. The point is, sometimes you have to show yourself a little extra love and that is always ok. Listen to what your body needs from you during these times and give yourself that. Don’t feel bad for needing time for yourself and time to rest. We go through a lot and sometimes we need those moments to just love on ourselves and spend some time alone.
Thanks to my therapist and these new steps, my spirals look a lot different and a lot healthier now. I journal out my feelings and write out the facts, I treat myself to something I will NOT regret, and give myself a little more TLC than usual. If you struggle with spiraling, therapy has been a saving grace to me and I would do your research and find a therapist you connect with. I have also attached a link to my amazon store with things I use that help me care for myself a little extra during these times and hope you can find something to add to your routine 🙂
It Will Be Well,
E
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