Count on me through thick and thin A friendship that will never end When you are weak I will be strong Helping you to carry on Call on me, I will be there Don’t be afraid Please believe me when I say Count on me “Count On Me” by Whitney Houston and CeCe Winans
The gift of GOOD friendships is a gift to not be taken for granted. Friendship has always been a cherished relationship for me. I value them so much and knowing how much God values them for us only elevates them for me even more. Over the past couple of years, some friendships have faded and some friendships have blossomed. During the season when it seemed like friendship after friendship was fading, it was hard. So many questions go through your head. There’s so much pain. There’s confusion. There’s a rollercoaster of emotions.
I want to speak to those who feel lonely. I want those who feel like they are in a season of separation and constant disappointment when it comes to friendships, to know- YOU. AREN’T. ALONE. I have been there. Other people have been there. It isn’t rare, so please do not feel singled out. Listen, one thing I learned when I was in my season of isolation is that what God removes, He replaces tenfold. I prayed for the circle of friends I have been blessed with now and I know they probably think I’m being a lot when I tell them that they are an answered prayer, but they truly are. It’s a fact. The Bible tells us the type of friends to have and sometimes, we put up with things we shouldn’t have to and God will step in and remove us so that we can encounter the type of friends and friendship He intends for us to have. And not only that, sometimes WE are the problem. Sometimes, we have to go through that isolation to grow ourselves as well. We may have lessons to learn so that when we are blessed with that community, we don’t mishandle what God has blessed us with. If you are in a season where it feels lonely, I want to direct you to some characteristics the Bible points out for us that sticks out to me about our friendships.
They show you the love of Christ
You all know the saying, “Oh, what a friend we have in Jesus!” and boy, thats true. He laid down His life for his friends and He explicitly tells us that that is His commandment of us. In John 15:12-13, Jesus says out of His own mouth, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends”. Friends should love with Christ as the example and you should be able to see that.
They do not hold out on their kindness
I personally love that in my friendships we can tease each other and make fun of one another in a HEALTHY way. Meaning, we can joke about things with each other and still do it with kindness. With my community I have now, I have never thought that they weren’t kind. Even in joking and teasing times, they still exude kindness. In Job 6:14 we are told, ” He who withholds kindness from a friend, forsakes the fear of the Almighty”. In any time, you should be able to see kindness from your friend. In trying times, in good times, in all times, friends shouldn’t withhold that kindness from you.
They give genuine advice and push you to be better
A friend is not supposed to be a “Yes man”. A friend will sit down and have those hard conversations with you. Telling you when you could be going down a bad path, pushing you to do something you’re fearful of, but they know it is in your best interest to do it THROUGH that fear, giving you advice that lines up with God’s word, you get what I am saying. True friends will not just give you a yes because they are your friend. They will give you a yes if it truly is a yes and give you a no when needed also. Need proof? Proverbs 27:9 says, ” oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel”. HIs EARNEST counsel. His SINCERE counsel. His GENUINE counsel. Proverbs 27: 17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another”. Your friends push you to be better. They “sharpen” you. You shouldn’t regress with friends or stay stagnant. You should propel forward to better and better versions of yourself with pushes from them. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing”. We are called to encourage our friends to do well. We are encouraged to build them up. True friends will not have you thinking less of yourself. And in moments when you are doubtful of yourself and insecurities are speaking louder than God’s word, they will remind you who you are and WHOSE you are and build you back up.
They love you in all times and are loyal
Life is full of different seasons…seasons of abundance and joy, but also seasons of sorrow and disappointment. We are told a true friend love at all times, even through adversity. Proverbs 17:17 says, A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity”. It is easy to be around and love on someone when things are going great, but what about through adversity? What about though the curveballs that life can throw at us? THAT is when a true friend is shown. “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”- Proverbs 18:24. Loyalty is big in any relationship. You want a friend who will stand by your side and who you never have to worry about going whatever way the wind blows. True friends won’t leave you when things start to look a little shaky or a friendship with someone else looks a little better. We can have multiple friends, of course, but a friend won’t leave you just because of a friendship with someone else is coming in the horizon. A friend is someone you can trust with secrets and someone you can trust with your emotions. A friend is someone who you can trust, point, blank, period.
So, today I encourage you to do a few things:
First, look at these characteristics and see if you represent them in your friendships. if you do, great! Continue to do so and continue to be the friend Jesus charges us to be. If not, write them down and pray over these verses and ask God to work in you to become the friend you are called to be and that your friends deserve.
Thank God for the community that He has placed around you and reach out to them and let them know how much you love and appreciate them. Friendship really is a gift from God and we gotta thank Him for that and thank who He has brought to us. Because they chose to be there and be a friend too.
If you are in that season of isolation, continue to pray for friends who will push you towards God and push you to be the best version of yourself daily. Pray for the friends who exude the characteristics of a friend that the Bible tells us.
Lastly, to my community who may be reading this- never doubt for a second how much you mean to me. I’ve said it before and I’lll continue to say it: You guys are an answered prayer. Everything God tells us about friendships is what you represent and I am forever thankful and blessed to do life with you guys. Thank you for growing with me, thank you for the hard talks, thank you for the laughs, and for the shoulders to cry on. Thank you for your love. Thank you for the gift of your friendship.
It Will Be Well,
E
Comments